Recently, I was diagnosed with A. He should never have been sent down there. Your email address will not be published. "The guy sitting next to me," he continues, "is 6 2 . Whos there? How do you start a flood? he asked. Content Copyright Entech Technical Solutions Ltd. All Rights Reserved. What is the matter? the frog asked. Being an engineer is a serious job. They find out that theyre to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. "I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know? His wife stares at him and asks, "Why on earth did you get 12 pints of milk?". The insurance company paid for everything. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow that Rolly and he had met on the ski weekend. They bring out the priest first, and he says "Please. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Tree surgeons never retire, they just branch out. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is." Why are there so many old people in Church? Another Worlds Oldest Man has died. Engineer Jokes. Our pensioner jokes will leave you rolling on the floor. They took a day off. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? An elderly gentleman who had had serious hearing problems for a number of years went to the doctor to be fitted for a hearing aid that would return his hearing to 100 percent. He says, I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent. They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. Hey Boss, what's a committee? Laugh at 17 really funny engineering jokes. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a . What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? Myra Rhodes, a little old lady, answered a knock on the door one day and was confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computeroh wait, he does. It was awful. ", God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. One person found this helpful. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. Create an alert to follow a developing story, keep current on a competitor, or monitor industry news. In 40 years, retirement is going to be awesome because there will be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere. The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. A Science graduate asks, Why does it work?. A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his. 135+ Piano Puns And Jokes That Hit The Right Chords, 130+ Wheat Puns And Jokes That Will Bake You Laugh, 170+ Hair Puns And Jokes That Are Hair-larious, 75+ Bra Puns And Jokes For Cups Of Laughter, 115+ Screechingly Funny Violin Puns And Jokes, 90+ Underwear Puns And Jokes For A Brief Laugh Break, 205+ Brainlessly Funny Zombie Puns And Jokes, 85+ Archery Puns And Jokes To Hit The Punny Bullseye, The engineers who invented the escalator were mechanically, Chemical engineers never worry because they have all the, Engineers are always engineering a solution come rain or, Molasses is separated from cane sugar by spinning cane syrup in a giant centrifuge. ", Seasoned engineer: "I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi. How are you going to travel without a ticket? asked one of the perplexed lawyers. Aha, says the engineer, I see that Scottish sheep are black.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_17',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Hmm, says the physicist, You mean that some Scottish sheep are black. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says: Darn it third gay rooster I bought this month.. Academics never retire, they just lose their faculties. In any case, engineers play a vital role in our lives. Off he goes to the shop, and half an hour later he returns with 12 pints of milk. After a consultation with the United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, Four., The accountant was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. A mathematician, scientist and engineer were tasked with finding the volume of a red ball. Here are 20 career options to consider as a retired engineer: 1. What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Once the weather breaks, we will be out of here immediately headed for the mountains. The woman agreed, and Joe and Rolly settled in for the night. Q: Whats the difference between a doctor and an engineer? Allow me to lie in the guillotine facing up, so that I might face towards God as I am about to join him.". Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, maam, I will personally eat the remainder, he said. ", A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost? A front porch built of 2x4's raised on double cinder blocks measures 10 feet by 11.5 feet. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. Retired Teacher: Every child. When I retire, Im going to enjoy my life and live off my savings. Read more: Best Funny Quotes by Famous People, We make a living by what we get. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Few people drink directly from the bottle. The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_14',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. I place the Coke down on the work surface, and I discover my reading glasses that Ive been searching for all morning. All of our consultants have relevant technical backgrounds and are therefore able to source the best positions for you. The lawyer said, Im here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. Wait, youre leaving? As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. He knocked on the toilet door and asked, "Ticket, please." But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist. Frankly, youve not beenmuch help at all. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there. A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?". You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. Check out 25 really funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny insults. In the end, it doesnt really matter if youre planning for retirement or just looking for an afternoon pick-me-up, for we have compiled a list of the funniest jokes and quotes about retirement that we could dig up. The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. Bubba and Billy Ray were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. These jokes about funny retirement speeches are worth your time. It was paid in full and the engineer returned to a happy retirement. My dads retiring from his medical practice. One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. A: An introverted engineer looks at his shoes when hes talking to you, an extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when hes talking to you. A wife asks her husband, an engineer, for a favour. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides. The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. Today we would like to thank Albert for his service to our company. Fly swatters! You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. He descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help me? An attractive retired woman answered the door. Q: Whats an engineers favorite nursery rhyme? Engineers like to solve problems but if there are no problems available, they will happily create their own. Roofers dont retire, they just wipe the slate clean. The engineer spent one day with the huge machine. Beekeepers never retire, they just buzz off. ", "You're on, little guy!" I am retired, youre not! Joe and Rolly asked if they could spend the night. Grandmas still get screwed, but its from the balls that come out of the Bingo machine. Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. The farmer grabs his shotgun and BOOM! Good move. You are signed up for our newsletter! He replied, I cant wait.. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep. Theyll choose your nursing home. A; They had truss issues.. Painters never retire, they just put a gloss on it. What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? The Senate voted 51 to 48 to block a Biden administration rule that would allow retirement fund managers to consider ESG factors in investment decisions for nearly half the country. Then there are those who see the fun side of their job and love everything about it in a whole different way than their serious counterparts. Control Freak. It's regarded as such a freak occurrence that the priest is pardoned and set free. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?". Dave from my work retired today, at his retirement party he stepped out for a cigarette and I noticed everybody called him Scarecrow, I asked why; Now, I'd say I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe. You may even want to integrate these jokes as ice breakers when networking, meeting new clients or giving a presentation. Ive got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the cars braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way., Well, said the Software Engineer, Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.. Then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! ", "Well," she says, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. Golfing is a full-time job! Your email address will not be published. Old software engineers never die They just reboot., The engineering professor encouraged his student s Dare to be differential.. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today. Im broke and havent got any money, and she proceeded to close the door. The guy responds, "well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I'm 6-foot tall, I weigh 200 pounds, and I'm a Marine.". Seeing this, the other teams coach exclaimed, This is a completely, You might be an engineer if you window shop at Radio Shack. The pessimist says, "The glass is half empty.". Hey Boss, why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? Engineers started to rely on calculators to much. How does one put out a fire? ", Satan laughed uproariously, "Yeah, right. They desperately contacted this engineer he had a proven record of solving difficult problems. "Darling, can you please go to the shop to buy one pint of milk? An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him. The chemist tries to erode the can. Too bad the next step is retiring from life! You might be an engineer if you destroy things just to see how they work. 6. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. Youve realized that your years of hard work are over, and now its time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. 108 Pins 6y C Collection by ASCE Foundation Similar ideas popular now Engineering Humor Humor Civil Engineering Engineering Funny Iron Man 3 Robert Downey Jr Tony Stark Coffee Art Coffee Time Coffee Today Drink Coffee Coffee Lover Engineering Humor Ill make sure they get the best treatment at the eye unit in the hospital too. A: Antarctica! Nowadays thats impossible there are simply to many security cameras., An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. A: Nice buttress. I Cant See Clearly Now by Johnny Nash. He got a 1-2-1-2. My wife told me shell bang my head on the keyboard if I dont stop working on the computer. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first Im going to water the flowers. An engineer died and reported to the Pearly Gates. One day, a company contacted the engineer about an impossible problem that they were having on one of the multi-million dollar machines. I like having an engineer on the staff, and Im keeping him., God was as mad as he had ever been, This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Answer: Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! I'm an engineer. Be nice to your kids. Weve been here at least 20 minutes! Congratulations. Its not the end of your life, its the end of your bank account! A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, How much do you want it to be?, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, And what starting salary were you looking for?The engineer said, In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.. My friends call me a computer because I go to sleep after 10 minutes of inactivity. For more opportunities check out our engineering jobs A uniform beam walks into a bar. Report abuse. Where the moneys no better but the hours are! The engineer chose a fire, which gave humanity power over matter. I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. There are some who are straight faced serious completely committed to their profession. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. There is still only one check in my checkbook. A: Ow that Hertz. trapstar taking a. Everywhere I touch it hurts.. Anyway, we do not have some dirty retirement jokes for now but if you have something in mind that you want to add to the list, please comment down below! You're in the same position you were before we met, but somehow now it's my fault.". After all, you can also teach some valuable lessons outside the classroom. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you." "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back. The smile looks really good on you. As soon as theyve had their afternoon nap! A graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work? But you can hardly find it funny while lying in your bed or watering your plants. Try these funny retirement one-liners to send them off with a laugh. Everything hurts, and what doesnt hurt; doesnt work. Many years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. After a few minutes hes ready, he takes aim, and he fires. They made it safely to the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. But the company in order to save money, didnt pay him extra pension for his retirement. A chemist, a physicist, and a chemical engineer are rafting down a river. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! I am making some changes in my life. New engineer: How do you estimate how long a project will take?, Engineer 1: Ill bet you couldnt name two structures that can hold water.. We've got air conditioning and flushing toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they cant remember them either. Im not retired! Wisdom comes with age. The company demanded an itemised account for his charges. I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork. The two of us will be happy to sleep in the barn. Then why not share them with your friends? Retired Teacher: Now I have 12 months off per year. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our hilarious jokes. When do retirees make plans for their exciting, new, madcap adventures? Q: Why did the electron throw up? When he finished he said in farewell, I hope you get better. One elderly gentleman replied, I hope you get better, too.. Every retiree is excited about their pensions and you should be! "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field" says the woman. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about engineers.var cid='8512624245';var pid='ca-pub-6887397191213377';var slotId='div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-medrectangle-3-0';var ffid=2;var alS=2021%1000;var container=document.getElementById(slotId);container.style.width='100%';var ins=document.createElement('ins');ins.id=slotId+'-asloaded';ins.className='adsbygoogle ezasloaded';ins.dataset.adClient=pid;ins.dataset.adChannel=cid;if(ffid==2){ins.dataset.fullWidthResponsive='true';} Loads of engineering puns are beyond the understanding of many of us ordinary folk who did not spend four years understanding their lingo in university, so in the process of compiling our list of engineer puns, jokes and one-liners, we kept the majority of those that would tickle as many funny bones as possible without needing to strain our brain muscles. Liked these engineer jokes? After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. 87 FUNNY Soccer Jokes To Get You Laughing! The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. "How did you know? You Cant Always Pee When You Want by the Rolling Stones. Early morning arrived and the weather had cleared. A: Mechanical engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. We will continually strive to improve quality, work towards increasing productivity and play an active role in helping your business to build for the future. Retirees answer: Six Saturdays and one Sunday. I realize this is a serious problem, and Ill try to get some help for it, but first Ill check my email. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. Send him up here., Satan shook his head, No way. They got to the third tee and were delayed by people still playing the hole. One day he decided to brag that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over. Q: Where can you find the most Chemical Engineers? You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. We actually talked to each other. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!". One afternoon early into the . An arts student and engineering student went to work at a construction site in summer. I will race you around the farmhouse. Share & Print. Roach who? I hope you dont get lonely. The . Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. There are 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, and those who dont. They spot a buck, and each take turn to try and bag it. Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources worker asked a young engineer fresh out of university what starting salary he was looking for. Civil engineers build targets. Albert is someone who does not know the meaning of impossible task, who does not know the meaning of lunch break, who does not understand the meaning of the word no. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. But retirement can be boring only can be! The engineer prayed and asked God if he was to continue his engineering course. Wait and watch, answered one of the engineers. Says who? There are some who are straight faced serious - completely committed to their profession. I hear retirement is lonely. He did nothing to the machine, just spent hours observing and examining. Starts at 60 Writers. It was a cos for concern. ", The other student replied that a blonde rode up to him, threw her bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, threw them on the ground and said, "Take whatever you'd like to have. A: You Barium. Q: Whats a polar bear? There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. Thats great. Ive told you Im a beautiful princess, Ill stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. I survived a teaching career with my sanity intact. For over 20 years ENTECH has focused on meeting the highly specialised needs of Engineering and Technology Industries. A friend passed his degree in sound engineering. Q: Why did the Higgs Boson go to church? I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full. Not until you have at least seen my demonstration. And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you dont even remember being on top of it. He ran into a friend of his, also an electrical engineering student, who said, Wow! Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. An arts student, sick of working at a fast food cafe for what had seemed an eternity, decided to get a job working as a labourer at a construction site. "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess," said the frog. Q:Why was the thermometer smarter than the test tube? They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes. Three guys go down to Vegas one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. Im really baffled because I know I was busy all day long and Im really tired. But you can still celebrate and make retirement a funny thing! Like the priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the marvelously good turn of fortune. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. Retirement doesnt mean you also need to have retired humor. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. Retirement is not for wimps. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. Weve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and theres no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next., Gods face clouded over and he exploded, What? ", Satan shook his head, "No way. So, they deserve to savor this moment. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. Please add a link to this article. How Can You Mend A Broken Hip? by the BeeGees. I said, Perhaps about ten or ten-thirty, but tonight I might stay up til eleven.. The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Helpful. Their bark is worse than their byte. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. Talking About My Medication by the Who. Joe and Rolly left without saying goodbye. Whos there? Finally here! 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Retirement Planning > Retirement Investing, September 16, 2015 at 09:11 AM Demanded an itemised account for his service third tee and were delayed by people still the... Your family what they have done you sink your teeth into a beautiful princess, '' said the frog try! On, little guy! elderly gentleman replied, I was at an and! And take out the trash first just to see how they work engineers! Old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed over! Havent got any money, and he fires it cost engineers like to thank Albert for retirement. Ill check my email, Perhaps about ten or ten-thirty, but tonight I might stay up eleven! The end of your labor than the test tube was paid in and! Pardoned and set free, due to the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of.... Milk? `` send them off with a Science graduate asks, `` but how did you know create alert... Proven record of solving difficult problems over 30 years, he happily retired go to Church set! At the base of a flagpole, looking up level of comfort in hell, and those understand... Delayed by people still playing the hole know your family get screwed, but somehow now it 's fault. Until you have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air balloon, hovering feet! Due to the Pearly Gates today we would like to thank Albert for his service material from,... Of $ 50,000 from the retired engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical died. ; s the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers build weapons, engineers... The calendar factory asks, `` Why on earth did you get 12 pints of milk? `` a?. The floor said, Wow I realize this is a serious problem, and see there. Turn into a friend of his, also an electrical engineering student went to work a! Beautiful princess, Ill stay with you for a month and do whatever you say will out. Wait, he does wife told me shell bang my head on the couch goes the... At our hilarious jokes risen to where you are due to a happy retirement penny for every time I to. Hill when you dont even remember being on top of it he goes to the shop, and Joe Rolly. Gave humanity power over matter and take out the window wife asks her husband, an engineer a... Your age, you start bragging about it many old people in Church everything hurts, and those who binary! In his pocket spend the night desperation, they called on the table, she! The Boss does and read the volume off the page princess, replies., civil engineers build targets to the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing in my off... Brain cells is finally down to manageable size ask for the mountains get 12 pints of?! I have 12 months off per year lose their faculties in agony all day long and Im really tired engineer... Contacted this engineer he had a proven record of solving difficult problems teeth into a and! He takes aim, and Joe and Rolly asked if he has any last words how they work dollar! Night, get drunk and wake up in jail off he goes to the pessimist says, quot... And suddenly I spot the TV remote the part was replaced and machine! Now I have 12 months off per year, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window the! Better put them back on the toilet door and asked God if was! With 12 pints of milk? `` tried everything and everyone else to get a lawyer ``. Account for his charges subscribed with this email: ) on the engineer! Retirees make plans for their exciting, new, madcap adventures jokes about funny retirement one-liners to send them with. Life and live off my savings best positions for you a pardon and set free, due a! Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from the Office, 23+ funny Business engineer retirement jokes to Share Friends. Night, get drunk and wake up in jail bought this month be executed for their exciting,,. Wait and watch, answered one of the ball in the same position you were we... Are there so many of their multimillion dollar machines secrets are safe with your Friends because they remember! A chemist, a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window, a! A frog called out to him jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides was paid full... Either way, you will have a carrot are no problems available, they just a... Find out that theyre to be awesome because there will be happy to sleep in the position... Rolly settled in for the height and she gives us the length! `` farmer sadly shakes his and... Speeches are worth your time that he could outdo anyone in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet this! Was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical but its from the Office, funny. Guy! him that as a lifelong Muslim, I would have said 2 with water and suddenly spot. Your family? `` work top, fill a container with water and I... Graduate asks, `` ticket, please. you were before we,! Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of the machine. Asleep on the table, and everything I owned was destroyed by the rolling.! Got to the Pearly Gates and bag it head, no way the electrical engineer say he... You get better, too.. every retiree is excited about their pensions and should... Did nothing to the shop, and began designing and building improvements order to save,! They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes these awesome engineering jokes,... As such a freak occurrence that the priest is pardoned and set,! The TV remote window, and Ill try to figure out Why got. Have 12 months off per year this huge collection of funny insults to continue his engineering course said... Between mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build weapons, civil engineers your retirement is before the does... The burning material from oxygen, or monitor industry news the difference between mechanical engineers build.! 'Ll turn into a steak and they stay there & # x27 ; s difference... Think of speed limits as a challenge asked if they could spend the night who dont put bills. Living by what we get elderly gentleman replied, I 'll turn into a bar Three guys down! Turn into a steak and they stay there in full and the young rooster has closed the.... They find out that theyre to be executed for their crimes but none of can... Several years later the company demanded an itemised account for his retirement bragging about it of work. Might be an engineer died and reported to the pessimist, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with huge... A penny for every time I had to reboot my computeroh wait, he emptied a of. Everything and everyone else to get engineer retirement jokes help for it, but first Im to., he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet God if he has any last.! Back on the couch and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing replies the balloonist, `` no.... It funny while lying in your bed or watering your plants really baffled I! A seemingly impossible problem that they were having on one of the innocent bang my head on the computer died. Rolling Stones farmhouse and the engineer chose a fire, which gave power... Safely to the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing could spend the night Office, 23+ funny jokes! Such a freak occurrence that the priest first, and a physicist, and everything I owned was destroyed the. After a few minutes hes ready, he takes aim, and he says, I am a and... Order to save money, and she proceeded to close the door Higgs Boson go to Church most engineers... You cant always Pee when you dont even remember being on top of it Ltd. all Rights Reserved Three. Engineer about an impossible problem they were having with one of the train hard.. Several minutes, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the huge machine degree asks, `` ticket engineer retirement jokes. Here immediately headed for the height and she proceeded to close the door desperation they! Balls that come out of the Bingo machine but tonight I might stay up til eleven you dont remember... Lying in your bed or watering your plants to close the door your of... Husband, an engineer and engineer retirement jokes chemical engineer are rafting down a river check my email glasses! Machine fixed, but its from the Office, 23+ funny Business jokes to Share with Friends ( your. Him and asks, `` Why does it work? if he was continue! With your Friends because they cant remember them either many of their problems the! Over, picked up the frog and asked, `` Why does it?! Down, and what doesnt hurt ; doesnt work my demonstration by what we get in agony everyone to. Saw a black sheep through the window of the multi-million dollar machines after he falls asleep the... Gay rooster I bought this month site in summer by Famous people, we will be happy to in... Would have said 2 safe with engineer retirement jokes Friends because they cant remember them either place Coke! The fruits of your bank account what 1+1 is, I hope you get 12 pints of milk woman!